Monday, February 02, 2004
it's been a while since i've written in here. i wish that my comments were working, but i dont think that it would matter anyways because it looks as though the comments on other peoples blogs arent working either. damn. i don't want there to be school tomorrow. it would be so nice...i'm not feeling well, but i think that i would go to school anyway. i hate being sick. i wish i could think of something interesting to say...
i was reading someones composition journal the other day. its really interesting to see other peoples points of view on life. it really gives a different perspective and makes me realize that i need to step back and pay attention to what im doing. id tell you whose journal it was, but its not important and it was a long time ago. like 4 years or something...but he was my age at the time he wrote it. he pointed out that usually whenever people write in journals that they always sound depressed. and it's true too. at least for me. i'm always writing when im depressed and it has always bothered me that i do. im actually not that depressed right now, which is a good thing i guess...lol...
im so confused right now, at this point in my life.
i wish that i could do something without doubting myself. i wish i could be myself without acting on other people AT ALL and not caring AT ALL what other people thought of me. i think thats my problem or something....see i just did it again!! i doubted myself. dammit. i want to be free from the insanities of the world and my brain.
im glad i read that journal. it made me realize some things that are important at this point in my life. like...it made me realize that i dont need to know what im going to do with the rest of my life...just yet...i dont need to know what my strong points are...so what i dont know what my strong points are yet. people in their 50s still dont know what they are. it would be nice to find out some day soon though, lol. i just wish that could find something that makes me happy. if i knew what my strong point was it would probably make me happy. maybe...id hope so...grrr....im rambling rambling rambling...and now i kinda made myself depressed...ok, im done. enough said. for now.
i was reading someones composition journal the other day. its really interesting to see other peoples points of view on life. it really gives a different perspective and makes me realize that i need to step back and pay attention to what im doing. id tell you whose journal it was, but its not important and it was a long time ago. like 4 years or something...but he was my age at the time he wrote it. he pointed out that usually whenever people write in journals that they always sound depressed. and it's true too. at least for me. i'm always writing when im depressed and it has always bothered me that i do. im actually not that depressed right now, which is a good thing i guess...lol...
im so confused right now, at this point in my life.
i wish that i could do something without doubting myself. i wish i could be myself without acting on other people AT ALL and not caring AT ALL what other people thought of me. i think thats my problem or something....see i just did it again!! i doubted myself. dammit. i want to be free from the insanities of the world and my brain.
im glad i read that journal. it made me realize some things that are important at this point in my life. like...it made me realize that i dont need to know what im going to do with the rest of my life...just yet...i dont need to know what my strong points are...so what i dont know what my strong points are yet. people in their 50s still dont know what they are. it would be nice to find out some day soon though, lol. i just wish that could find something that makes me happy. if i knew what my strong point was it would probably make me happy. maybe...id hope so...grrr....im rambling rambling rambling...and now i kinda made myself depressed...ok, im done. enough said. for now.
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