Saturday, February 28, 2004
12:10 A.M. : the toilets are falling!!!
Monday, February 23, 2004
well whoopdee fucking do
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
...Just a Taste...
...sometimes i over analyze my body to the extent where i want to rip my skin off...
...and eat it...
...with ketchup...
...sometimes i over analyze my body to the extent where i want to rip my skin off...
...and eat it...
...with ketchup...
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
why does it seem like every time my life gets to get better in some aspects but ooooodles of worse in other aspects????
...i want to cry...=*(...
...i want to cry...=*(...
Monday, February 16, 2004
MY THOUGHTS ARE JELLO OOZING FROM ME BRAIN
hmm...where to start where to start...well there really isnt a beginning so i might as well start in the middle.
its interesting how after i was gone from school for three days that my brain just doesnt function anymore. it just DOESNT FUNCTION ANYMORE. there i said it.
im having a meltdown of emotions. emotions a stir. i feel as if im in a time warp. or slow motion. either one works. whatever which way.
im tumbling into....lost train of thought
either i know too much or i know too little. never satisfied. i need someone. i need something.
the power to express my feelings towards....eh another interruption of my brain fog. i feel as if...idk...i dont feel anymore
i dont feel like myself. somethings foreign in me and its trying to hide.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!
this entry is fucked up.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
somebody help me! save me from my psychotic frenzy of nothingness
...............i feel just a tad bit better
hmm...where to start where to start...well there really isnt a beginning so i might as well start in the middle.
its interesting how after i was gone from school for three days that my brain just doesnt function anymore. it just DOESNT FUNCTION ANYMORE. there i said it.
im having a meltdown of emotions. emotions a stir. i feel as if im in a time warp. or slow motion. either one works. whatever which way.
im tumbling into....lost train of thought
either i know too much or i know too little. never satisfied. i need someone. i need something.
the power to express my feelings towards....eh another interruption of my brain fog. i feel as if...idk...i dont feel anymore
i dont feel like myself. somethings foreign in me and its trying to hide.
gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwddddddddddddd!!!!!!!!!!
this entry is fucked up.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
somebody help me! save me from my psychotic frenzy of nothingness
...............i feel just a tad bit better
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
do you ever feel like your existance is a fluke?
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
like it was never meant to happen?
Jen says:
hehe yeah
Jen says:
nandi i love you
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
they tell you: everything that happens happens for a reason, they tell you: you decide your own destiny
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
it has to get worse for things to get better
Jen says:
:P
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
:/
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
im going to put this in my blog
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
it sounds good, i think
Jen says:
heh
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
i love you too
Jen says:
:D:D:D:D
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
are you calling me?
Jen says:
umm... no
Jen says:
im still talking to quinn
Jen says:
=/
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
stupid phone! stop ringing
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
aahaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
its david
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
i feel so messed up
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
why cant i just realize how good i have it? why cant i understand my feelings? why do i have to be jealous over things that arent even true??!?!???!?!?!?!? why why whyw why whyw whwyhwyhw
* this conversation was between, i like my honey with lemon and water, me and, Jen, jenny...if you already hadn't guessed
**don't mind me i'm just on hormones :D...isn't that just lovely?
do you ever feel like your existance is a fluke?
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
like it was never meant to happen?
Jen says:
hehe yeah
Jen says:
nandi i love you
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
they tell you: everything that happens happens for a reason, they tell you: you decide your own destiny
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
it has to get worse for things to get better
Jen says:
:P
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
:/
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
im going to put this in my blog
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
it sounds good, i think
Jen says:
heh
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
i love you too
Jen says:
:D:D:D:D
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
are you calling me?
Jen says:
umm... no
Jen says:
im still talking to quinn
Jen says:
=/
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
stupid phone! stop ringing
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
aahaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
its david
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
i feel so messed up
i like my honey with lemon and water says:
why cant i just realize how good i have it? why cant i understand my feelings? why do i have to be jealous over things that arent even true??!?!???!?!?!?!? why why whyw why whyw whwyhwyhw
* this conversation was between, i like my honey with lemon and water, me and, Jen, jenny...if you already hadn't guessed
**don't mind me i'm just on hormones :D...isn't that just lovely?
Monday, February 02, 2004
it's been a while since i've written in here. i wish that my comments were working, but i dont think that it would matter anyways because it looks as though the comments on other peoples blogs arent working either. damn. i don't want there to be school tomorrow. it would be so nice...i'm not feeling well, but i think that i would go to school anyway. i hate being sick. i wish i could think of something interesting to say...
i was reading someones composition journal the other day. its really interesting to see other peoples points of view on life. it really gives a different perspective and makes me realize that i need to step back and pay attention to what im doing. id tell you whose journal it was, but its not important and it was a long time ago. like 4 years or something...but he was my age at the time he wrote it. he pointed out that usually whenever people write in journals that they always sound depressed. and it's true too. at least for me. i'm always writing when im depressed and it has always bothered me that i do. im actually not that depressed right now, which is a good thing i guess...lol...
im so confused right now, at this point in my life.
i wish that i could do something without doubting myself. i wish i could be myself without acting on other people AT ALL and not caring AT ALL what other people thought of me. i think thats my problem or something....see i just did it again!! i doubted myself. dammit. i want to be free from the insanities of the world and my brain.
im glad i read that journal. it made me realize some things that are important at this point in my life. like...it made me realize that i dont need to know what im going to do with the rest of my life...just yet...i dont need to know what my strong points are...so what i dont know what my strong points are yet. people in their 50s still dont know what they are. it would be nice to find out some day soon though, lol. i just wish that could find something that makes me happy. if i knew what my strong point was it would probably make me happy. maybe...id hope so...grrr....im rambling rambling rambling...and now i kinda made myself depressed...ok, im done. enough said. for now.
i was reading someones composition journal the other day. its really interesting to see other peoples points of view on life. it really gives a different perspective and makes me realize that i need to step back and pay attention to what im doing. id tell you whose journal it was, but its not important and it was a long time ago. like 4 years or something...but he was my age at the time he wrote it. he pointed out that usually whenever people write in journals that they always sound depressed. and it's true too. at least for me. i'm always writing when im depressed and it has always bothered me that i do. im actually not that depressed right now, which is a good thing i guess...lol...
im so confused right now, at this point in my life.
i wish that i could do something without doubting myself. i wish i could be myself without acting on other people AT ALL and not caring AT ALL what other people thought of me. i think thats my problem or something....see i just did it again!! i doubted myself. dammit. i want to be free from the insanities of the world and my brain.
im glad i read that journal. it made me realize some things that are important at this point in my life. like...it made me realize that i dont need to know what im going to do with the rest of my life...just yet...i dont need to know what my strong points are...so what i dont know what my strong points are yet. people in their 50s still dont know what they are. it would be nice to find out some day soon though, lol. i just wish that could find something that makes me happy. if i knew what my strong point was it would probably make me happy. maybe...id hope so...grrr....im rambling rambling rambling...and now i kinda made myself depressed...ok, im done. enough said. for now.
